By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
ttyl tear gas
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
try to milk me bitch
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
