I seem to have left my pride at pride
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize