I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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