How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
