my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
