I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
