There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
