Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm at about main and main street
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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