But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
