just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Randomize
