I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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