none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Randomize
