In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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