He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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