so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize