so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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