i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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