Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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