i think i have herpe
just one?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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