This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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