where am i from again
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
There r osticjed everywhere
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
