You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
