my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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