8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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