from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
