Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
