You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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