I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
did i walk over a car last night?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
