smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
a search helicopter?!
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
