There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
