OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
