we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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