K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I still have a little drunk in my system
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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