Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I need a beard to bite.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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