are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
