she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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