No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Randomize
