Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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