I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
