I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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