i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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