cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
