ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
