this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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