Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
