Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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