just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
