ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
