He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
