What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize