i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
