My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
