Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
