apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
