So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
