forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
