Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
