i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
