I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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