grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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