Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She bit a glass in half.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
