I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
