A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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