He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
