YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
