How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
